


Riposte

by Stone_Princess



Series: Fencing Lessons [2]
Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-02
Updated: 2003-05-02
Packaged: 2017-10-26 08:21:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/280835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stone_Princess/pseuds/Stone_Princess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lex may return to Smallville after all.  Riposte: an offensive action made immediately after a parry of the opponent's attack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Riposte

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my sweetieface, Rhiannonhero, for telling me when my words were clumsy and to the amazing Alison who made me excited about writing more, for her no animals were harmed in this story.

* * *

A day in Metropolis with Lex was something that Clark looked forward to more than anything else. Today had not failed his expectations. Lex had taken him to a cool bookstore and a delicious lunch, although Clark had felt a little uncomfortable in such an elegant restaurant.

The afternoon was set aside for continuation of Clark's fencing lessons. Clark showed his small-town side as he turned around gawking at the gym in Lex's penthouse. The room seemed to be made of light. The walls constructed completely of frosted glass dotted with the occasional clear window. Enrique appeared with a fencing kit and directed the awe-struck youth to the bathroom to change. Clark marveled at the bathroom as he changed into the pale grey fencing gear provided for him. It was bigger than his bedroom at home. The gear fit much better than that which he'd previously borrowed from Lex. As he examined himself in the mirror he wondered if they had been purchased especially for him.

Clark walked back in to the gym, his steps quiet on the matted floors. Glancing up, Clark sucked in his breath at the sight of his best friend. Lex, unaware that Clark had entered the room, was moving through some exercises, powerful, sleek and strong. Clark swallowed hard as illicit feelings and memories of their one night together welled up inside of him. The need to reach out to touch Lex was almost overwhelming, but Clark controlled it, from long practice. There were unspoken rules now, Clark knew that if he wanted to keep what little of Lex he had left, then he needed to keep his thoughts focused on fencing. Lex looked up, noticed Clark and the lesson began.

"Torso straight. Clark, tell me, what's the form for _on guard_?"

"I, uh, line up my feet, with them pointing to you, keep my torso straight," he shot a little smile at Lex, "um, knees bent, not leaning forward, and, ah, keep my weapon arm close in with the elbow bent. Oh, empty hand behind my head."

"If you know it that well, why aren't you doing it?" Lex repositioned Clark's elbow and used his toe to push Clark's feet a little further apart.

" _En guard_." Lex positioned himself as he raised the challenge and began to advance on Clark.

Clark felt foolish as he advanced. Lex moved so smoothly, so easily. Clark was intensely conscious of his own movements. The precision of the required steps was complicated: toe up, then heel, heel down followed by toe. He was so involved in his foot movements he almost missed Lex's first feint.

"Clark, pay attention to everything around you. If this were a real duel you'd die."

"I guess it's good that this isn't real." Clark kept his eyes on Lex, consciously trying to emulate the grace with which Lex held himself. Clark had become so used to feeling physically superior to everyone around him that Lex's polished movements made him feel especially clumsy.

"The practice of sport is real enough, Clark. Pay attention." Lex lunged and Clark's concentration split between his own footwork and Lex's attack. They moved back and forth, at steady even pace. Lex was up, three touches to Clark's two as they fought across the sunlit floor of Lex's gym.

"Come on, Clark, you can defend better than that. All right, _parry sixte_ , _parry deuce_. Good, good defense, Clark. Keep watching my elbow and my shoulder--it'll give you better idea of what is coming."

Clark watched Lex's shoulder but still he didn't see the _moulinet_ coming. The whirling cut came from Lex's wrist and displaced Clark's foil entirely, letting Lex's thrust through. Lex's strike had hit Clark on the left side, below his nipple, piercing his jacket and breaking the tip off the foil. Lex dropped the foil rushing to Clark.

"Clark, are you okay? Are you bleeding?"

"Uh, I'm fine. It, it, um, didn't hit me, just caught the jacket a bit." Clark didn't breathe as Lex's hands checked the hole finding the skin beneath uninjured.

"What happened? I've never seen a foil break like that before." The inquiry shook Clark. It was hard to conceal everything from Lex.

"I don't know. Freak accident, huh? Guess it's really lucky I wasn't hurt." Clark shrugged as he spoke, trying to smile, but the simple words pinched in Clark's throat. He hated lying to Lex.

"Do you want to stop?" Lex looked, well, not concerned, but confused.

"No, Lex we can keep going. I'll pay more attention." Clark's skin felt warm where his friend's fingers had examined the hole in the jacket.

Clark did his best to concentrate during the next match. Diligence forced him to watch Lex, which ironically, distracted him. Lex was sensual as he moved, swift and smooth. Clark's mind drifted, remembering the feel of his friend’s muscles, the way they moved beneath his skin. Pushing away the distracting thought, Clark focused on his footwork, on staying inside the designated area of play.

Clark felt more confident after winning the second match. They decided to break the tie with a best of three. As they battled back and forth, Lex continuously encouraged Clark, even as he dodged the novice fencer's best attacks. Needing only one point to win, Clark lunged. His arm thrust forward, he overbalanced and tipped forward into Lex. Lex hadn't seen the surprise attack coming and was still moving toward Clark. They collided, bodies entangling as they fell.

" _Corps-á-corps_ , Clark, you automatically forfe..." Lex's words trailed off as their eyes met. Clark was shocked at the sensation of being so close to Lex. Every nerve in his body screamed for more contact. Clark was frozen. So much of his energy was expended on not thinking about touching Lex, now that he was touching Lex and he couldn't think about anything else. Disentangling themselves was an ungraceful act at best. Clark blushed fiercely and immediately went for his clothes, stacked on a small bench.

"I should go," was all he managed rushing from the room.

With shaking hands, Clark stripped rapidly out of the fencing gear and returned to his usual flannel shirt and baggy jeans. Dressed, he sagged against the counter, staring in to the mirror. His own clumsiness had defeated him, ruining the day entirely. Longing seemed to taint the friendship they had so carefully maintained. Clark relived the touch of Lex's fingers, the feel of his lips, the stretching pressure of Lex's cock almost every night. How wonderful the paltry glow of friendship was when it wasn't compared to the fire of their one night together. Clark resolved for the hundredth time to think of Lex only as friend. He would put the rest of it behind him.

Emerging from the bathroom in his street clothes, he found Lex waiting for him. Lex hadn't bothered to change, he'd only removed his button-up jacket, leaving him in tight cream-colored pants and a fitted black t-shirt that left very little to the imagination. Clark was dismayed when he realized that despite his resolution of only moments before he couldn’t resist noticing the sexy way the shirt clung to his friend’s chest. Not knowing what to say, he just wanted to get away from Lex as fast as possible. There was no way to put the past behind them when Lex looked like that.

"Look, Clark, we should tal..." Lex's expression was serious and concerned. It was more than Clark could bear.

"No, Lex it's okay." Discomfited by his inability to talk to Lex about how he felt, Clark turned, looking around to see if he’d forgotten anything, but not really seeing anything at all. "I should just go. I promised my dad I'd be home by dark, so I really need to get on the road."

The drive home was awful. Three hours of uninterrupted driving, shared with nothing but monotonous cornfields and his own dark thoughts. Without even a radio in the truck to distract him, Clark was nearly in tears when he finally arrived.

Lex had made it clear that they could never be together, that they must put it aside and go on with their lives. Clark saw the logic in it, he really did. It was as important to his secrets as it was to his future that he Lex not become involved. Although he tried not to dwell on it, not to wish for things that would never happen, he found himself lingering on it every time he saw Lex. Today had been too much. Falling to the floor, suddenly finding Lex on top of him, body to body, however unintentional, had brought every second of their night together to the fore front of Clark's memory. He wanted Lex even more than he had before. It wasn't just about sex any more. Something important had been shared between them that night, something so raw and personal that Clark couldn't forget it. The painful feeling of wanting to touch Lex had become as regular as breathing to Clark. The intimacy he had experienced with Lex only made him want more. Now he wanted touching and understanding, neither of which he could have.

*****

After Clark departed, Lex sat nearly motionless in the study, as the sun set outside the windows. Finally, as complete darkness fell, he got up and poured a glass of scotch. Returning to his seat, he contemplated the glass and found that he was unable to drink it. It was the last of the bottle of Lagavulin that he'd shared with Clark months before, on _that_ night.

Lex believed some people were meant to be alone. He was proud to be one of those people. In every task he stepped up to he had no one to trust but himself, no one to depend on. Independently in control of every situation, he never had to worry how his actions would affect anyone but himself. Lex had always known he would never marry, never force himself into worry over the needs of dependents. Tonight he doubted his choice to remain alone. When he thought about what he and Clark had shared he felt something missing inside him. He now had knowledge of the joy that could exist if he shared himself with someone. If he shared himself with Clark. No, he hadn’t made the right choice, because there had been no choice to make. There was no way they could be together. There were too many outside forces, too much keeping them apart. Lex did his best to get on with his life. Lex had become very involved in his father's company, so involved in fact, that he was about to break away and start out on his own. Clark, it appeared, was moving on as well. He knew his friend had become involved with Chloe. And Lex was happy for them. Really.

Just knowing Clark had changed everything about Lex. Lex was alive because of Clark and the friendship forged by that happy accident began the first time in his adult life when Lex found himself concerned with someone outside himself. His platonic interactions with Clark had made Lex a stronger more complicated person. Indeed it was the kind of friendship rulers and kings had with devoted confidants in the histories his father was so fond of talking about.

A sip of scotch warmed his chest. Everything had changed the moment that Clark had kissed him. For a minute, for an hour, for that night the world had opened up and Lex had stepped into the unknown. He let himself feel everything. The morning sun had shown him an angel lying on his chest, an angel he could never have. Sometimes, just memory of the happiness Lex felt when he woke to find Clark asleep against him was enough to get him through anything, but tonight it haunted him. Curled in the leather chair in his study, he could distinctly recall every sensation of Clark's body, heavy with sleep, next to his.

Lex wouldn’t say he missed Clark; he still saw him often enough, more even than he had for most of the past year. They talked, saw movies, fenced. Clark sometimes called for help with his homework or just to talk. In ways, it was much like it had been before they had sex. The strain of what had passed between them rarely showed externally. Today, tangled together in the gym, Lex knew they'd both been thinking of the night they'd had. He wanted to tell Clark that he could still talk to him about anything. But that wasn't true. They could never talk about that night. They had both given up too much.

As Lex finished the scotch he laughed at himself. When had he become such a morose, maudlin, sentimental bastard? One more glass of scotch, he told himself and then bed. Hopefully the morning would return command of his emotions to him.

*****

Clark knew the day would be important to Chloe, it was their three-month anniversary. Conveniently, Clark's parents were in Metropolis for the weekend, so Clark was cooking dinner for her. So far his super powers had come in handy several times, protecting him from burns and cuts. Cooking wasn't as easy as he had thought it would be. Plus he had been very distracted.

Lex had called tonight. It was the first time they'd spoken since that day in Metropolis when Clark ran out. Clark had replied to emails but had avoided Lex's phone calls since that day, afraid of his near physical reaction to the timbre of Lex’s voice, especially when the tangle of their bodies on the floor of Lex's gym was still so fresh in his mind. Lex had news, even more distracting than the sound of his voice or the memory of his skin. Lex was coming back to Smallville. In some sort of a business coup, that Clark didn't fully understand, his best friend had bought the Smallville plant and the Luthor Castle from his father. Lex's last words rattled around in Clark's head, "I didn't get a chance to tell you when you here." Shame burned Clark's face at the unmediated reminder of his hurried exit.

Clark tried to concentrate on the evening ahead. It was important that Chloe have a good time. He knew he had been distant in the two weeks since his visit to Metropolis. The times they'd spent together had been as usual, movie dates, or evenings with friends, but Clark could feel the shadow of Lex over everything. Sure that Chloe could feel it too, he was determined to make it up to her tonight.

The doorbell startled him from his reverie. Shaking his head to clear it, Clark walked to the door. He found Chloe looking beautiful. He led her to the table that was carefully set with his grandmother’s dishes and lit only by candles. Although it was time consuming and harder than he ever could have guessed, Clark had prepared pot roast, potatoes, salad and asparagus. It wasn't fancy but it was what his mother always made for her own anniversary and Clark was uneasy about making anything too elaborate, lest he get it wrong.

Dinner was pleasant, Chloe complimented the food and talked about all the things their friends had been doing. When Clark told her Lex was coming back she seemed to take it as a matter of course. It was hard to say, but Clark was pretty sure she saw none of the tension and uneasiness that Lex's return brought him.

They ended up watching movies in Clark's room, since he had the only DVD player in the house. Both of them were curled together in Clark's single bed, watching Sweet November, which Clark thought was terrible, but Chloe seemed to like. Her head on Clark's shoulder, Chloe looked up at him through her lashes as the credits rolled. Not sure what else to do, he leaned in and kissed her.

The kiss broadened and deepened. They slid down the bed, trying in vain to keep lip contact while hands moved over bodies and snarled into hair. For what seemed like hours to Clark, they tumbled and kissed. Hands slowly made their way under clothes, removed clothes, found skin, knees slipped to press between thighs, lips moved down over jawbones to necks and shoulders. When Chloe started to undo Clark's jeans, they were both topless and sweaty in the blue lit room. He put his hand on hers to stop her progress, leaving himself halfway unbuttoned.

"Chloe, are you sure? I mean, this could change everything. Are you sure you're ready?" Was he sure he was ready? The whole night was tarnished already. It was sweet and sexy to kiss and touch Chloe, but it was all Clark could do not to think of Lex.

Chloe's smile lit the room, "Yes, Clark, I'm sure, and prepared." Retrieving her purse from the floor, Chloe produced a handful of condoms.

"Chloe!" In spite of himself, Clark laughed in surprise at her forthrightness "Were you planning this?"

"Well," she ducked her head and blushed a little as she smiled, "I wasn't sure, but we are alone here, in your room, and I am prepared." In answer, Clark kissed her again. Renewed passion flooded their fumblings. Clark reached under his ass for the remote, turning off the TV and blackening the room.

Both naked now, they explored each other tentatively. Clark was surprised by how soft Chloe was, how different the muscles under her skin felt from Lex's. Lex. Clark's cock, trapped against Chloe's thigh, jumped at the thought of Lex. He tried to push the thought away and concentrate on Chloe. Comparing them would be a great disrespect to Chloe, even if she never knew. Clark couldn't do that to her.

Clark slid his hand down between Chloe's legs and felt her tremble slightly. Their bodies were pressed close together, Chloe's face tight in the hollow of Clark's shoulder. His eyes were tightly closed, even in the dark room as he gently stroked the inside of her silky thigh. Kissing the top of her head, her ear, her shoulder, his fingers worked into the wetness he discovered in the tight curls between her legs. Wanting to please her, Clark kissed light touches across her chest and stomach as he kept one hand between her legs. Her skin felt delicate, and he couldn't believe how foreign and yet wonderful her breast felt, as his mouth found her nipple. She arched up against him, hand pressing his head harder against her as he marveled at the sweet, pliable, yielding flesh of her breast. The need for his own release and his desire to please Chloe was strong, but it wasn't like before. It wasn't like with Lex. The longing to devour and be devoured didn't exist in the small space between him and Chloe. Touching her felt good, but it didn't feel like much more than that. He reached for a condom, easily able to see it, even in the darkened room. Carefully putting the condom on, he leaned into Chloe, kissing her and whispering, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Clark, I want to do this." She kissed him vigorously and pressed his hard cock between her legs. The kiss was strong, fiery and full of urgent lust. As she spread her legs, Clark moved, trying to find a position that wouldn't hurt her with his weight. They both shifted in the confusion of sheets, blankets and bodies.

"Wait, Chloe, I..." Raising himself up, his hand near her head, the other trying to angle his cock for entrance into her, he felt strange and outside himself as if he was watching their actions from above.

"Ow, you're on my hair, Clark."

"Oh, Chloe, I'm sorry." He rapidly removed his hand, blushing and feeling foolish. Why was this so complicated? It had been so smooth and easy before, so simple. But then Lex knew what he was doing and he had guided Clark through. "I am so sorry. Are you okay, Chloe?"

"Just don't stop, Clark. It's okay." There was something in her voice he couldn't read, so he kissed her again instead. Her hands found purchase on his hips, searching and pulling him to her.

Balanced awkwardly, barely up on his knees, Clark leaned forward, pressing into Chloe. Even through the condom he felt her, hot, wet, smooth. As he pushed further in, Clark felt ignited, saturated by Chloe's dewy heat. Suddenly, it didn't matter if this was right or not, it just was and it felt so perfect. Clark was barely aware of anything as he slid all the way in, until Chloe gasped and tensed.

"Are you okay? Do you want to stop?" It was so hot and velvety inside her, but concern won the battle in Clark's mind.

"No, I...no don't stop." Chloe's hips thrust up against him, bringing friction with the heat and Clark was lost. Propped on his elbows, his hips to hers, he thrust into her rhythmically. Breathing her scent, tasting her skin, moving with her, against her, feeling her. Chloe moaned and cried out, moving her hand down between them, some fingers against the base of his cock, where it met with her and some across herself. She moved back against him harder, breathing heavy. They rocked together, the heat between them slicking their stomachs with sweat. The heat created in the friction of their bodies encircling them both.

"Oh, oh, oh, god, Clark." Her muscles contracted around him and he shuddered. Whispering her name over and over as he came, his face buried in her hair. Immediately, he felt so sorry he wanted to cry. He knew he didn't love her the way she wanted, couldn't love her the way she wanted. But he loved her enough that he was paralyzed with fear at the thought of losing her. Stroking her hair he kissed her head as both their breathing returned to normal.

Pulling out, he held the base of the condom and then carefully removed and tied it off, tossing it to the trash can that only he could see in the dark.

"Clark?"

"I'm here." He slid back to visibly warm outline of her body. Pulling her close to him, hoping to stop all words, Clark rocked her gently as he held her. Eventually, it had been quiet too long.

"Are you okay? Was it okay?" Clark's voice caught a bit, like puberty all over again, as he broke the silence between them. Glad for the dark room, because he couldn't have looked Chloe in the eye as he said those words.

"Clark, it was fine. We wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to." Chloe shifted, turning to fit her arms around his waist. "It's just that, well, your heart wasn't in it. It's not still Lana..." He felt her body go taut as she paused, clearly waiting for him to confirm Lana as the cause of his emotional distance.

"Chloe, no!" Chloe relaxed at his denial but although she still rested bodily against him her arms were no longer twined around him. "I mean, oh, I'm sorry, no, don't think that. I'm sorry, I was just trying to please you." Clark held her tighter as he spoke, trying to reassure her. He squeezed his eyes shut, as if this could somehow block the falseness of his assurance.

He could hear the strained, false smile behind her voice, "You did, Clark, you did please me. I knew the first time would be awkward. It's just, well, weird I guess. Um, I better clean up and go home, before my dad worries."

She moved, turning on the little light on the blue table beside his bed, as she sat on the side sheets clutched around her.

"My bathrobe is on the back of the closet door, if you need it."

"Thanks."

Clark turned toward the wall as Chloe got up, wrapped herself in the bathrobe, gathered her clothes from the floor and left for the bathroom. Clark stayed in the bed, staring at the round circle of light on the ceiling. Things were worse now. Sex with Chloe hadn't fixed anything, they were both more awkward and apart now. Maybe it was just because it was so immediate, maybe tomorrow everything would be right and they could be happy together. That would never happen. He'd always miss the intensity that he now knew wasn't there. The intensity he shared with Lex.

"I better go."

Clark blinked, he hadn't heard Chloe come back in. Her eyes were red-rimmed, as if she'd been crying, but something in her expression made him afraid to ask. Picking up the bathrobe that she left on the bed he put it on as she turned her back to him.

He followed her down the stairs in silence. At the back door, fearful at losing her forever, he pulled her into a tight embrace, his face again in her hair. I'm so sorry, he whispered, too softly for her to hear.

She pulled back and kissed him gently and sweetly.

"I'll call you in the morning."

As he opened the door for her, they were both surprised to find Lana on the back porch, hand raised and poised to knock.

"Lana!"

"Oh," she smiled, "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"No, I was just leaving," Chloe's smile was huge, but clearly false. The events of the night and the appearance of her perceived rival hurting her more than Clark knew she would ever admit. "I’ll call you, Clark. Bye Lana. " She rushed off in the dark to her car.

Clark watched her, wistfully, apprehensive that he'd never see her again. He turned his attention to Lana.

"Come in, Lana, what's up?" Clark did his best to smile.

"I know it's late," She blushed a little as she noticed his bathrobe for the first time, "but Nell is gone and the hot water heater sprung a really bad leak. I tried to call but there was no answer." She blushed at the bathrobe again, averting her eyes as she spoke. "It's leaking near the fuse box and I was afraid something would happen. Can you come look at it?"

"Sure, just let me, um, clean up really quickly." It was Clark's turn to blush.

He raced through getting ready, going as fast as he could without revealing his super human speed.

It was silent in the truck as Lana drove them to her house.

"Thanks so much for doing this, Clark. I just got nervous with the water so close to the electricity." She handed him the tool box as she spoke.

Clark was crouched on the floor, examining the connections at the bottom of the hot water heater. He reached for a wrench he didn't need, trying to keep up appearances and wishing Lana wouldn't watch him work. This would be so much easier if he could do it quickly, using his powers, but that was impossible under Lana's watchful gaze.

"So, what was going on with you and Chloe? She seemed upset and you were, uh..." Clark dropped the wrench as Lana's words trailed off.

"What?" The scarlet of his face seemed to light up the little room as he reached for the fallen wrench.

"I'm just surprised is all. You guys have only been going out for a few months." She turned away, obviously embarrassed. "It looked like you were, like you had just, um, I guess it's just doesn't seem like you, Clark."

"Well, it's not really your business, Lana, but Chloe and I talked about it and decided we were ready." Clark couldn't look at her as he said the words.

"Was tonight the first time?"

"Lana!"

"I'm just curious. We're friends, Clark, we tell each other important stuff."

Clark busied himself tightening the connections. He wanted to talk, to tell Lana, to tell anyone how bad he felt. The mistake he and Chloe had made hung heavily over him. Embarrassed that he had enjoyed it, even knowing as it happened that it was the wrong thing. But, telling Lana wouldn't do any good, he'd only do it hoping to alleviate the guilt he was now carrying.

"Yeah, we're friends Lana, I'm just not sure I want to talk about this. Look, I stopped the leaking, this should be okay for tonight, but you should call Bob Harvey in the morning and get him to replace all of this, otherwise it'll be leaking again soon."

"Thanks, Clark, I really owe you." Lana wrinkled her nose as she smiled. "Smooth subject change by the way."

Clark, embarrassed and confused by the night's events wanted out of there as quickly as possible, but he found himself sitting on the porch swing, drinking lemonade and not really listening as Lana told him about Whitney's latest letter from boot camp. The oddity of the whole situation suddenly came upon him and he almost laughed out loud. He'd just had sex. For the first time with a girl. And where was he? Sitting on the porch of the person he was _supposed_ to be in love with, listening to her go on about the person she was supposed to be in love with. Instead his thoughts continuously wandered to Lex. Clark felt, unreasonably, that he had betrayed Lex, had somehow cheapened what they shared by having sex with Chloe. Sex did complicate everything.

*****

As he signed the papers, Lex felt an odd rush of power. The Smallville fertilizer plant was now his. And it was his alone, it belonged to the newly formed LexCorp. He was nearly free of his father. Lionel Luthor had helped financially support the founding of LexCorp, but Lex controlled 70% of it and answered to no one but his own Board of Directors. The acquisition of the Smallville plant would force the company to go public with it's stock, hopefully making Lex quite independently wealthy.

It was early in the day and he had plenty to do but Lex thought to call Clark and invite him to celebrate. Maybe dinner at the mansion, movies, they could have an evening where everything was like it had been before. He would find some way to erase the awkwardness between them, there had to be something he could say, could do to reassure Clark. The power of his business triumph flowed through him. Anything could be solved, everything was a puzzle waiting to be figured out.

The call to Clark was unanswered. Lex left a message suggesting they get together that night or the following day to fence. The disappointment he felt when no one answered at the Kent farm was quickly sidelined by the mountain of papers he had yet to sign.

*****

Clark was in the barn, staring at nothing, his heart broken at the pain he caused Chloe and the anguish distance from Lex caused him.

"Clark?"

Startled, Clark looked up to see Chloe at the top of the steps.

"Chloe." Clark did his best to smile as he went over to greet her. The tension between them was palpable. They hugged awkwardly. At loss, Clark began, inexpertly, "Chloe, I just wanted to say I'm sorry...about last night."

"Clark, don't. You don't need to apologize to me. We both knew what we were doing. It's okay. I'm glad you were my first time. I can't imagine a better way to have a first time, than with your best friend. It's funny, you were my first kiss and my first time" There was nothing to indicate that it was funny in the way her face crumbled and her voice broke as she said it.

"Chloe, please, I..."

"No, Clark," she cut him off, "please, just let me get through this. It's hard enough already." A deep breath to center herself followed a long pause before she went on. Her words came out in a rush, "Clark, we shouldn't be doing this. You aren't happy with me and all I want to is for you to be happy. This is making both of us miserable and I don't know why. I mean, I thought the whole Lana thing was behind us and..."

"It's not Lana." Clark couldn't look at Chloe as he spoke.

"Well, it's something, Clark, and it's hurting both of us. I just don't want to lose you altogether." Chloe's voice broke again and Clark reached for her, putting his arms around her and leading her to the couch. Seated on the couch, he held her and stroked her hair as she cried softly.

"I'm so sorry, Chloe. I'm so sorry, I wish I could tell you." The words, barely audible, were murmured into her hair. Clark wasn't even sure if she heard. After a bit Chloe's breathing slowed and leveled. She looked at him, smiling a warm and sad smile, brushing tears away.

"I know you have secrets, Clark. I know there's something. You don't have to tell me. I just don't want to lose everything we had." She looked so serious and doleful, as she met his eyes. "I don't want sex to be something weird between us. And things can never be what they were, but I always want you around, Clark, I want everything else we had before."

"Oh, Chloe, I love you, I'll always be here." Tightening his arms around her, Clark felt heartsore. "I'm just so sorry I can't give you what you want from me."

Hours after Chloe had left, Clark still lay on the couch in the barn, staring at the ceiling. He wondered how everything had become so different, so painful. Things had changed so much that it wasn't just him hurting, now he hurt other people, people he loved.

"Clark? You still up there? Dinner's ready." His mother's voice broke his reverie, although he was still lost enough not to see the worried look she gave him as they walked back to the house.

*****

Lex stood next to the Porsche after he got out, surveying the street ahead of him. Downtown Smallville was busy this Saturday, people had been coaxed from their houses by the sunlight heralding the impending spring. A little peeved to be called into the Talon since he had so much work at the plant, he started toward the old theatre's entrance.

Slightly appeased by the amount of business his investment is getting, Lex looked around for Lana. Not seeing her on the floor, he headed up to the office. Lana was behind the office desk, filling in the long columnar sheets for the coming week's orders.

"You look quite in charge."

"Oh, Lex, you startled me." She cocked her head to the side in her usual way as she smiled, putting down her pencil. "Hi. How are you?"

"I'd be better if there were two of me, so I could get everything done." He stood rigidly, his hands still in his pockets.

"I'm sorry I called you down here on a Saturday, it's just that the freezer shut down completely and it's leaking water all over the back room. I called the repairman and he's down there fixing it, but you have to sign the invoice. Also Niccolo's can't do our coffee order anymore and I'm not sure what to do."

"Aren't these all things Nell can take care of?" Lex was mildly exasperated with Lana's inability to problem solve.

"She could, but she's in Metropolis and I didn't know what else to do. I've had so much trouble already with the freezer here and the water heater at the house, I figured it would be easiest if you came in, Lex."

"How did you know I was in town, Lana?"

"Clark told me last night that you were taking over the plant when he came to help fix the water heater. I just took a shot that you'd be in today." Lana smiled and looked at him in way that he was sure got her what she wanted from Whitney. It didn't get her anything from Lex.

"Clark fixed your water heater?" Lex was about ready to snap, first the pointless phone call to take care of small managerial details and now her silly cryptic gossip. "Why didn't you call him today?"

"I thought I had disturbed him enough last night." Lex must have looked perplexed at her clearly meaningful look, since she went on, "You know, Clark and Chloe? Last night? He called you this morning, didn't he? I mean, you guys are really close, right? I figured he'd want to tell you all about his first time _you know_." Lana looked at him, as ever, her expression was unreadable. Quizzical perhaps, certainly bland. For a minute as he looked at her, Lex really didn't understand what she was saying. He knew all about Clark's first time. He was Clark's first time. Realization poured over him.

"Clark and Chloe had sex? Last night?" The incredulous tone was unintentional and hopefully unnoticed by Lana.

"Isn't it wild? I mean, I thought Clark would stay virgin until he married." Lana had the sense to look embarrassed as she said this.

"Clark and Chloe had sex? And you're gossiping about it with _me_?" Lex was simply floored, shocked, he couldn't even see the edges of what he knew he should be feeling, what he soon would be feeling. He hoped Lana read the tone in his voice as chastisement for gossiping and not the shock he felt.

As quickly as he could he signed for the freezer repairman, told Lana to buy coffee at the grocery store until they found a new supplier and got out of there.

Something wrenched and pulled inside his stomach as he returned to the plant. He barely saw the road as drove, his mind filled with horrible, hazy images of Clark taking his pleasure with Chloe. The rest of the day was wasted. Lex tried to work, but the heartbreak he was trying hard to ignore overshadowed everything. Try as he might to focus on the financial reports he needed to get in order at the plant, he could not. The jealousy twisted and grew, becoming a titanic monster which ate the joy he'd felt in his own power just that morning.

Evening fell, with Lex once more in front of the fire in the den, scotch in hand, Auchentoshen this time, the only thing he could find in the under-stocked mansion. Sitting and staring, much as he did weeks before in Metropolis, Lex gave into his thoughts. He had been fine with Clark and Chloe dating, at least that’s what he told himself. It had seemed harmless enough. Teen dating, nothing more than good friends that held hands. Had he really believed it would always be that way, that teenage hormones would never enter the equation? Lex had seen for himself the way Chloe looked at Clark.

Lex knew that Clark wasn’t his possession, and he never would be. Over and over he told himself that they couldn't be together. Clark would grow up, meet a nice girl and get on with his life and Lex would stand to the side and watch. Clark deserved happiness and Lex could never bring him anything but complication and pain. Lex stared into the flickering firelight, noticing neither its light nor its warmth. The scotch he drank went down like water.

He strode across the room for another drink. Pausing by the bar, he threw back half the glass he just poured before he returned to the chair in front of the fire. The source of his jealousy became clear and a chill crept through him in the heated room. Clark _had_ belonged to Lex. As long as Lex was the only person Clark had sex with Clark still belonged to Lex. Today Lex knew he had lost Clark. Clark had sex with someone else and Lex had to find out about it from _Lana_.

He didn't remember falling asleep, but Enrique woke him, still in the chair in front of the fire, in the bright morning light, to tell him that Mr. Kent was waiting to see him. Mr. Clark Kent.

*****

"Hi, Lex, sorry it's so early," Clark's changeling green eyes took in Lex's rumpled clothes, so out of character, "did I wake you up?" Lex shook, a little like a dog, and seemed instantly awake.

"Clark." Lex's words were a statement, with no inflection that Clark could read. "What are you doing here?" Clark began to feel like he'd done something wrong. Something in the way Lex looked at him, as if he knew everything.

"I'm...well, we had a da...I mean, plans, this morning? For fencing? You invited me when you called the other day. You left a message saying you were in town closing the deal at the plant and I should come by?" Clark felt and heard the slight hitch in his voice, and although he pushed the memory of the other night away, he felt his cheeks flame ever so slightly.

"Fencing. Right. Just let me get cleaned up and I'll be right with you." Lex's stare was still cold, the chill staying even as his attention was diverted from Clark. "Enrique, see that Clark gets a drink or anything he needs, then show him upstairs to change for fencing." Lex exited the room without a second glance at Clark.

Clark had always felt very awkward around the butler. Clark wasn't even sure if you were supposed to call them butlers; maybe there was some politically correct term that he didn't know. Enrique escorted him to the spacious room upstairs. He accepted the offer of juice and went to put on the fencing outfit Enrique indicated. It had been neatly laid out on a bench to one side of the room. Next to it was Clark's foil, the one Lex had given him a year before. The one he had left the day he rushed out of Lex's Metropolis penthouse. Clark held the clothes, staring, for a minute. Enrique had been with him since he arrived. Had Lex come up and laid these out for him or had they been previously laid out in anticipation of his arrival? Lex hadn't seemed to remember that Clark was coming until he showed up. Nor had Lex seemed very happy to see him.

Clark felt sick. Not meteor rock sick, but a new sick. The last thirty-six hours had been hell. Although she assured him otherwise, he knew he'd hurt Chloe. Their friendship might survive it, but Clark felt so guilty, so derelict about the whole situation. The joy had been taken out of Chloe's first time by his not loving her in the right way and there was no way he could apologize. Everything felt so wrong. The guilt didn't end with Chloe. Clark felt he had been unfaithful to Lex. No claim was laid on Clark by Lex, quite the opposite. Lex had made it clear that they'd never be together. But Clark wanted Lex so desperately that he could feel nothing but shame, disgrace and chagrin about the fact that he had sex with someone who wasn't Lex. How could he even tell Lex without revealing himself? Would Lex even care? Had Lex already moved on in the way he expected Clark to?

When Lex finally arrived, looking freshly scrubbed and wonderful in his fencing whites, Clark was sitting by one of the wide windows watching the morning sun, with a glass of orange juice in his hand. Dressed in his t-shirt and fitted button front pale grey fencing pants, Clark had left his jacket, glove and mask on the bench near the door. Lex was fully dressed, mask in his hand.

"Ready, Clark?"

"Sure, Lex." Clark walked back to the bench, hyper-aware of Lex's eyes on his back. "Let me, um, let me just get everything else on."

It remained quiet in the room while Clark struggled into the jacket and glove. He couldn't shake the sense of wrong-doing. Not simply his own guilt and fears about the other night, but he felt the pressure of Lex's stare. The silence was heavy and hard between them.

Words were barely spoken as the first bout began. Lex had none of his usual tales of fencing in ancient Egypt or the writings of Henry de St. Didier. The instructions he gave Clark were curt and demanding. The fencing mask hid his friend's face from Clark even more than Lex's stony gaze.

"Come on, Clark, you can do better. _Riposte_." Clark raised his weapon offensively to Lex's parry. He knew his footwork was bad, yet Lex didn't comment.

"Again. Better, Clark, but be faster. _Neuvieme_."

"I can't remember what that means." Lex a got a touch in as Clark faltered. One more and Clark would lose miserably, without a single point scored himself. Never had he fenced this badly. Lex had always coached him through and today Lex barely gave him cues.

Lex made his final touch, ending the match, against a very poorly executed sixte parry on Clark's part. Without even a comment on Clark's deficient game, he removed his mask and strode to the glass of juice that was waiting for him.

Clark couldn't take it anymore. "Lex, is something wrong?"

Lex laid aside his foil, very deliberately removing his mask as he advanced on Clark. He paused, looking directly into Clark's eyes and then abruptly turned away. Lex didn't even turn to face him as he spoke. The tone of his voice was devoid of emotion. Lex seemed more concerned with the removal of his glove than talking to Clark.

"How was your _first time_? Was it good, Clark?" Lex's voice was flat, emotionless, but his eyes burned as he turned back to the younger man. "Are you guys all ready to settle down after graduation and raise a little litter of Kansas farm kids?"

Clark froze where he stood. Lex knew. Clark couldn't understand what he was supposed to do, to say, couldn't understand Lex's reaction. Was Lex angry? Hurt? Confusion roiled through him as he tried to speak.

"Lex, I, I mean, I was going to tell you." Blushing at his own inability to form a sentence, Clark tried to push on. "It just happened. I didn't mean for it to happen. It wasn't an accident, but it just, I don't know, happened. I was going to tell you."

"You're the closest thing I've had to a real friend in my whole life." Lex had again turned his back on Clark. "You don't have to hide anything from me, Clark." Lex turned to face him, still unreadable, voice cold.

"I wasn't hiding it, I just, I mean, I didn't mean for it to happen." Guilt at this acknowledgement of his poor judgement hung heavy on Clark. "I thought it'd be better if you didn't know. I thought we..." He couldn't even form the rest of his thought.

"So you were hiding it?"

"No, Lex, I..." Clark wanted to cry, he was guilty for sure, but now he didn't even really know what he was being condemned for exactly. Unbuttoning his jacket, Lex moved toward Clark. Clark's unfinished words hung in the air.

"You what, Clark?"

Clark was mesmerized by Lex's movements as he came toward him.

"I still only want you, Lex." Unthinking, he reached out and grabbed Lex, pulling him in and kissing him hard. He could smell the clean sweat of exercise, the sugary burn of last night's scotch and the underlying scent that was purely Lex. And then he was lost to the rest of the world.

*****

Lex responded roughly, pressing into Clark, claiming his mouth as he backed him against a wall.

"That's your answer, Clark? You were hiding it because you want _me_?" Looking into Clark's eyes as he spoke, the twin blue-green pools so open, so inviting, so afraid. The pain and want so apparent that Lex was forced to look away. He grabbed Clark's hands, pinned them to the wall above their heads and claimed Clark's mouth again. The kiss was biting and angry, full of long-bottled lust and craving. As he released the wrists, the boy's hands found his body, instantly pulling, removing the thick cotton jacket, reaching under Lex's shirt. Before he could react, Lex found himself turned around amazingly fast. Clark braced Lex against the wall. Hands were everywhere at once, under Lex's shirt and over the skin beneath. Lex no longer remembered being mad, being hurt, couldn't remember when Clark wasn't touching him. Soft, red lips joined the hands in their exploration, in their reclamation of previously explored territory.

Lex leaned his head back against the wall, his own hands over Clark's shoulders as Clark bunched Lex's shirt up around his chest. Lips moved over taut stomach muscles, frantic hands tore at the fastenings of the creamy white pants. There was barely time to absorb what was happening before Clark had Lex's cock out and his mouth was around it. If Clark's hand had not reached up to grasp Lex's ass through the fitted material of the pants, Lex would have collapsed.

The morning light was grey, but bright, reflecting, glistening on Clark's dark curls as his head bobbed over Lex's cock. The hem of Lex's shirt brushed across Clark's forehead, the coarse edge of the zipper on his fly rubbed the teen's soft cheek. Lex reached down and caught his fingers up in the shiny curls. He was overcome as Clark's tongue slid over the head of his cock, hot mouth once again enclosing him. Clark sped up his rhythm, one hand clutching Lex's ass, holding him up, the other threaded around the base of Lex's cock.

Clark's hurried motion and aggressive manner overtook Lex rapidly and he came hard, fingers twisted into Clark's hair, pulling cruelly. The heat of his orgasm burned intensely through all his muscles, spreading through his stomach and outwards through his whole body. As Clark pulled back, Lex dropped to his knees, face to face with his lover. He leaned forward into Clark, pressing his mouth to sweet lips that tasted of orange juice and Lex's own seed.

"Make me yours, Lex, make me yours again." Eyes open, full of raw emotion. Lex pushed him back, hard, tumbling Clark onto the floor. Crawling over him he pressed his body roughly over Clark, feeling the excitement in Clark's cock as he moved over it. Mouths together again, Lex moved off, tugging at Clark's clothes. He bit and scratched and pleased and punished and teased every inch of the smooth, bright, golden skin. Clark's response was beguiling, twisting, writhing, begging, moaning and calling Lex's name. Asking for him, asking to be taken. Lex could barely hear the words over the blood thrumming in his own ears, but he knew what they meant, what Clark wanted. He pulled the thick grey pants to Clark's knees, turned him over and stroked the smooth globes of Clark's ass.

"I don't have any lube, Clark, it's going to hurt."

“It won’t hurt. Please just take me.” He never would have admitted it, but Lex knew it was true, he couldn't hurt Clark, not physically.

Wetting his fingers in his mouth, Lex reached for Clark, pulling him close and sliding two fingers into Clark's tight pucker. Immediately Clark flinched, but he pushed back against Lex's hand, already rocking his hips rhythmically. The lithe, dark-haired boy shifted, tucking his knees under to give Lex easier access. Sliding his third finger in, Lex moved his other hand between his mouth and cock, slicking it. Clark was on all fours in front of him, as Lex pressed his cock into Clark's ass, he pressed his hand into the boy's back, forcing him closer to the floor. The sensation was unbelievable, the year of longing and desperation bringing the pleasure into sharp relief. Barely able to hold back, Lex still couldn't stop the torrent of emotions he felt. He wanted to hurt Clark, to please Clark, to punish Clark, to do something that would wash away Lex's jealousy and torment.

Saliva was barely enough to lubricate them, the friction burned with as much pain as pleasure. Lex reached for Clark's cock, finding it iron-hard. Jerking it fast he felt Clark shudder. He was unrelenting and unmerciful in his treatment of Clark's cock. Pointlessly Lex wished he could mark Clark, claim him with a physical sign as he had just claimed Clark emotionally. The intensity of his orgasm took everything out of him and he collapsed against Clark.

Time passed only as breathing. As the sweat dried on them, Clark moved under him, turning and wrapping his arms around Lex. Lex felt both their bodies relax, soften as if all the violence had gone out of them. Lex didn't know how long they lay together like that, pressing into each other, holding touching and not looking or talking, but he knew it wasn't long enough. Forever wouldn't be long enough. Clark moved very slightly and Lex realized that Clark was crying softly into his shoulder. Angel tears. Touched at what Clark would give him, Lex stroked Clark's hair, face, arms, shoulders.

*****

Clark hadn't even realized that he was crying until he heard Lex comfort him, and then he felt he'd never stop. Everything rushed out, all the pain he'd caused Chloe, the torment of the months hiding his feelings for Lex. As the tears slowed he just curled tighter into Lex's embrace, afraid speaking would bring further tears.

"I'm sorry, Clark, I was out of line. I was just so hurt, I wanted you to feel the same." Clark was pained yet very relieved to realize that this hurt Lex as much as it hurt him. Clark explained all about Chloe and what happened after.

"I did everything wrong, Lex. I hurt her, I hurt you, I hurt myself. I don't know how to fix any of it." Clark leaned his back, searching for Lex's eyes, but instead found lips on his.

"No, Clark, I hurt you, by letting this happen the first time. I hurt you by not being there and letting everything change between us. I want you, Clark, but wanting doesn't get me anything and it hurts you. You should have a normal teenage life. I never should have let things change like this." Lex spoke into Clark's hair, his arms still holding his friend.

Clark felt the blood drain from his face as he sat up pulling the remainder of his clothes around him.

"No, Lex, you didn't cause this, I mean, we did this." Confusion even at his own words, the room spun a little around Clark. He felt uneasy, completely out of control of his emotions. Trying to focus on matters at hand, Clark found only his t-shirt and boxers. The rest of his clothes were still in the bathroom.

"Yes, Clark, and we can't undo it." His best friend's eyes were sad as he watched Clark dress. "It changed everything irrevocably. Now we have only useless wanting and nothing we can do about it."

"How can you say that? After all this time?" Angry and wounded, he mustered all the dignity he could, while partially dressed. "I'll always want you Lex, want to be with you." There was no argument that could change this, and Clark hoped his conviction was audible in his words.

"Dammit, Clark. There are too many reasons." Lex stood to button his pants. "You're just a kid. I have responsibilities."

"I'm not that different from you, Lex. I certainly don't have any less responsibility." There was a waver of pain in Clark's voice at the thought of his responsibilities. One more reason they couldn't be together, one Lex couldn't tick off on his fingers because he didn't even know. Why was Clark arguing with Lex in the first place? He knew the answers. It was impossible for them to be together, but why did it have to hurt so much?

Clark fled for the bathroom before Lex could answer. Dressing as quickly as possible, he hurried for the door, fearful that Lex would follow him and explain again that he would never be with Clark. Although Lex wasn't there, the echo of his rejection hung heavily on Clark as ran home.


End file.
